1. HOTELS WILL LET IT IN.

It is astonishing to me that a hotel can fail to make a profit. Why? It costs between $30 to $40 to flip a room to keep it functional per day. If you pay less than $30 per night for a hotel/motel room, the cost of flipping that room would be close to $5. I want to shower. You can do it at home. The $40 turnover price includes cleaning supplies, electricity and hourly wages of housekeepers, minibar attendants and front desk agents. It also covers the cost of laundering sheets. Everything. It’s easy to see why this is a profitable business.

2. STAYING FOR ONE NIGHT? YOU MIGHT GET “WALKED.”

Managers are frightened by the phrase “walking a customer”. Hotels will book more rooms than they can handle, as the no-show rate on average is 10% per day. In the hope that cancellations and no-shows will result in full occupancy, sales and reservations staff are encouraged to book to 110 percent of the property’s capacity. What happens if the numbers don’t work in the hotel’s favor. One person is walked. The hotel will pay the entire night’s cost of the room and tax. (Plus one phone call – how cute is that? you can find a similar hotel in the same area.

If: 1. A guest is more likely than not to be walked. Expedia booked him, so he is able to get a very low rate.
2. He has never been to the city before and may never return.
3. He is a one-nighter.
4. This one is more important than the rest: He acts like a jerk.

3. SMART COMPLAINERS WINS.

Although most complaints should be made directly to the front desk, either in person or by phone, most problems will not have been caused at all by the front desk. Let’s start by briefly describing your problem and offering a solution, if necessary. Then, ask who you should talk to to solve the problem. These are beautiful and important questions to ask. The front desk can usually resolve the problem right away or act as a proxy.

You want to ensure that the agent does not nod and say “certainly” but not do anything? Find out his or her name. Directly identifying an employee is the best way to tighten their throats. It doesn’t matter if you threaten them or not, but a simple thank-you is enough. I’ll be back later to check that everything is taken care of. Tommy, is that right? I’m doing what you asked. (Will shouting get you what your want?) Well, probably. It’s just not as efficient.

4. A PILLOW CASE IS A MUCH BETTER WAY.

The housekeepers will use a solid karate chop to place a pillowcase on the pillow. They then fold it like a bun and shove it in. This is preferable to the civilian way of pulling the pillowcase up like a pair or pants. These ladies don’t want 50 pillows per day coming in contact with their faces.

5. ENJOY YOUR LEMONY FRESH LASSES.

What cleans a mirror like a pro? No streaks! Windex? No. No. Apply a thick, white base to your mirror and rub it in. This tip is not for use in your home. Although furniture polish can be quick and effective, it will eventually cause a waxy buildup which requires a thorough scrub.

This was a dirty little secret that the housekeepers kept behind closed doors. I only discovered it when I saw two women holding a minibar and Pledge glasses in their hands. It was part of the job to keep those glasses clean. You just took a Pledge shot, so next time you pour some tap water into a glass, you’ll notice a pleasant lemon aftertaste.

6. Never, ever pay for the MINIBAR.

Minibars. The prices are shocking to most people. You don’t have to pay anything for items in the minibar. Why would you? The most litigated charges on any bill are the minibar charges. Because the procedure for applying these charges is so inexact, it is why this is so popular. Minibar charges are the most voidable item. There are many mistakes, such as keystroke errors, delays in stocking, double stocking and hundreds more. I removed the charges even before my guests could get through half the sentence “I never had those items”. Now, I am waiting for the denial to be completed so that we can both live our lives.

7. BOOK ON A DISCOUNT SITE, GET A DISCOUNT EXPERIENCE.

Online reservations are almost always reserved for our worst rooms. This seems unfair. These reservations are our lowest-profiting. Truth be told, these guests chose our property not based upon quality but value. We were the first on a price-sorted list. The guest in front of them, the one with the $500-plus rate, chose this hotel. She visits our website when she arrives in New York to check out what’s available. We don’t have any reason to believe that Internet guests will book again with us, except if they are offered a discount. It makes good business sense to keep our best rooms available for guests who book on their own.

8. BELLMEN HATE YOUR SITCASE, BUT NOT BECAUSE IT IS HEAVY.

Bernard Sadow: The man bellmen hate. But they have never heard of his name. He invented the wheeled suitcase in 1970. It was the bane of every bellman’s existence. The bellman was an essential, a source of comfort and ease, and a valuable member of society. In October 1970, Sadow sold his first prototype of the bellman to Macy’s. This caused a major shift in the hospitality industry, which led to the once noble species retreating, rethinking, and reemergence as a hustler fighting to survive. Sadow may have invent the phrase “No bellman wants it to hear”, the phrase that makes Christmas unpayable and ruining Christmas, or the surprisingly common and ignorant phrase “I don’t want to bother he.” The man is a father to a family. There is no one bothering here

9. FRONT DESK AGENTS CAN ALSO AGENTS OF KARMA.

The initial keys are given to guests arriving at the hotel. They are programmed to reset all keys and deactivate any previous keys. The keys will not stop working if the keys are lost or replaced with a new one. With a “key bomb”, I first cut one initial key, then I start again to cut another initial key. You can use either one, as long as the first key you have slipped in is used, to get into the room.

Chances are, you’ll use the second key to get there. Then the first key will be invalid. Is that you? Not a chance. This can be traced back to the fact you told your nine-year-old daughter not to open her mouth, while ripping her small backpack at check in. Never.

10. THERE’S ONE SUREFIRE WAY TO GET AN UPGRADE.

Here’s one of the most common lies that front desk agents tell: “All rooms are basically identical, sir.”

Bull. Bull. There’s always a better room. I will search for it when I have the 20 dollars you gave me. If there’s nothing I can do room-wise, I have plenty of options. Late checkout, free movies and minibar, as well as room service amenities. In the hope of you returning the favor, I’ll do everything necessary to earn your tip.

This move can make some people nervous. Don’t be. Upgrades are allowed for special occasions. This is a special occasion because I have a solid 20, It’s enough to me!

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